ymusti: (Default)
 I'm actually mad at myself at the moment.

I was thinking about this conversation I had with someone.


She said, "So did your views of me change?"

I was actually really happy then that I said what I said, "No, it just gives reason." And I left a deep moment of silence just for the drama before going on and saying, "So, I guess that's why you're so introverted. Like why I had to open you up a little."

And she just nodded silently wiping the tears away from her eyes.


It may have been the best thing I said. I said it like a real book character. But I should have said something stupid like "Smile," seeing  as she was so upset. And if she asked I'd repeat myself and say that she should smile for thirty seconds. I'd then direct my eyes to my watch and tell her not to stop until I say so. And after 30 seconds I'd tell her to stop and I'd ask her how she felt. And then I'd explain to her that forcing to make yourself smile for thirty seconds actually makes you happy and that if she ever just needed to be happy she should do that.

I swear that that would have been more memorable than that stupid line I said.

Why Her?

Feb. 7th, 2014 08:47 pm
ymusti: (Default)
It's got me wondering; why'd it have to be her? Or them? She didn't deserve this. They did not deserve this.

But it isn't as if, anyone deserved this. But why did it have to be them? Why on earth-- on this earth full of people I don't give a single damn about-- did it have to be them?

They did not deserve it at all. They did nothing wrong. Nothing. An already broken motley of people; they did not deserve it. She did not deserve it. He did not deserve it. I...

It makes me selfish. And it is selfish of me to ask why it had to be them. Why it had to be her. Because it just had to be her. She, of all people, who I absolutely gave at least 90% of my damns;  she who inspired me; she who brought me through the crap load we call high school; she who was there when I was breaking down; she who was a friend; she who was my muse; she who was my love.

And now the world just figured that the broken can be a little more shattered than they already are.

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Skye

April 2015

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